Amanda is awesome

Oh, funny, that reminds me of one of my favorite species of South American mosquitoes.

– Calculus professor on the Washer Method. No further explanation was made. (via chelonaut)

(Source: mathprofessorquotes)

Via Actually I Am A Rocket Wizard

mclovenasty:

you play league of legends? AND world of warcraft?

lol, wow.

Via Actually I Am A Rocket Wizard

clannyphantom:

rubee:

I HEARD A DOG BARK TODAY AND I BARKED BACK AND IT REPLIED THE EXACT SAME WAY AND WE WENT BACK AND FORTH UNTIL MY FRIEND TOLD ME THAT IT WAS JUST MY VOICE ECHOING AND I HAD BEEN BARKIG BY MYSELF FOR 5 MINUTES STRAIGHT

BUT WHO BARKED THE FIRST TIME

Via Farhaan Khan, 19

Frodo Baggins looked at the ring. The ring was round. It was a good ring.

Lord of the Rings, if written by Ernest Hemingway. (via clarawebbwillcutoffyourhead)

(Source: theparisreview)

Via Actually I Am A Rocket Wizard

iammagicitself:

# still the best moment in a tv show ever

(Source: princesconsuela)


Via Farhaan Khan, 19

catesstrophe:

today a dude slammed my finger on accident because he was closing a metal drawer i had my fingers in and i was on drive through and i literally screamed into the headset and the lady just kept ordering her drink as i was trying to hush down three different LOUD MEN SAYING “OH MY GOD WHAT DID HE DO TO YOUR HAND”

she just kept going 

i screamed into a headset and she just kept going

Via Farhaan Khan, 19

clevverbot:

Why do Americans call it Mount Midori-yama? Midori-yama literally translates to “green mountain.” Like it doesn’t already sound stupid enough as “Green Mountain.” You just have to fucking call it “Mount Green Mountain” like good job you fucking weeaboos

Via Farhaan Khan, 19

ohhheck:

otterboxes:

ohhheck:

how do you ask what a glass of water is doing?

a glass of water is an inanimate object and is incapable of having a thought process or understanding english

water you doing 

(Source: officialblueshell)

Via Farhaan Khan, 19

condorn:

2young2care-yolo:

condorn:

how do u mute ur parents

actually doing what they tell you to do

thank u 2young2care-yolo

(Source: condom)

Via Farhaan Khan, 19

The wizards, such of them who were still on their feet and conscious, were rather surprised to see that Death was wearing an apron and holding a small kitten.

–  Terry Pratchett, Mort (via chelonaut)

(Source: cellularpeptide)

Via Actually I Am A Rocket Wizard
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